Review #4: Battletoads

Ah, another NES game. By the cover, you may think this game could be totally awesome and fun. Well, it COULD be, but there's just a slight problem: difficulty.

Seriously, this is an extremely hard game. I almost can't even describe how tough it is. Well, I guess the proper word would be UNFAIR.

Anyway, the whole concept sorta follows the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", except they're toads. Huge, strong, muscular toads.

I can't think of anything else to say for this introduction, so let's get into categorization...

Graphics: For the NES, these are some of the best graphics I've seen. The levels have a 3-D look to them, which is something big for the 8-bit era of gaming. Overall, graphics get a: 9/10.

Sound: Hard to say, I never listened to the music on this game. Guess I'll skip this category for once...

Story: Let's see... there's these three muscular toads, under the command of some bird-guy, and one is "crusin'" with some female toad. The two of them are kidnapped by the Dark Queen. The other two have to go after them. The names? Well, I don't remember the female's name, but the three toads are named: Zitz, Rash, and Pimple. Lovely, eh? Oh, and it just occured to me that every game so far on this list has had the SAME SAVE-THE-PRINCESS STORYLINE!!! But, once again, this puts a pretty nice twist on the usual Mario story, so I'll give it a: 7/10.

Gameplay: It's a sidescolling beat-em'-up. Since I am such a huge sidescroller fan, this seemed like the coolest game ever. But, like I said in the introduction, this game is so challenging it'll BLOW... YOUR... MIND! See, you get to pick up weapons that are lying around, and hit enemies with them. This would be much better if the enemies had a halfway-decent attack pattern. But instead they often go all random on you and kill you before you can even say "DUUUUDE!". Oh, and the best part? With 12 insanely hard areas (for the record, I've only made it to level 2, and I was lucky that time), you get only TWO continues. When you get a game over, you have the Dark Queen in your face degrading you. This PLUS the fact that you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN is a nightmare. Gameplay, sadly, gets: 4/10

Controls: Very good controls. Never had any sliding or anything like that during the whole 15 minutes I played the game. Controls get: 10/10.

FINAL SCORE:

9+7+4+10=30. 30/4= 7.5/10

But without the average method, I'd give this game a:

4/10

Verdict: Really, if you like games that'll make you break the controller repeatedly, play it. Otherwise, stay away from it, for your sanity's sake.