Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Review #15: Andy's Dad in His Own Nightmare!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Review #14: Big Brain Academy
There's just a little overview of Nintendo's current handheld for you there.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Review #13: Sling
Yep, it's another online game, AND it's not a platformer!
In fact, this game almost deserves it's own genre, even though it currently sits in the "puzzle" category.
So, once again, with utter lack of nothing more to say, it's categorization time!
Graphics: Beyond the title screen, pretty much everything in the game is 2-D graphics. But they're good anyway. Graphics get: 10/10.
Sound: They call me a slacker for a reason you know...
Story: All right, let's see, while not as ridiculous as yesterday's game story (no overly-long, overly-hypenated names), this story still can hold the rest of the game up. It takes place in this world inhabited by slimes that can cling onto poles and that kind of stuff. You're this old guy's "apprentice", and you're learning about this power source, which has 8 elements: goo, space, fire, ice, and four other ones I can't remember. With ONE element missing, things get ugly. This he tells you as a bunch of aliens come in and steal the goo element, sending the world into chaos. You are sent out to go defeat those aliens and retrieve that element! There are also some funny cutscenes with the old guy being lazy watching TV or wondering how his apprentice is doing. Story gets: 10/10.
Gameplay: This is one of the best concepts for an online game ever conceived. You have to slingshot yourself from post to post, sliming every one, so that a portal appears to go to the next level. Slingshotting the little guy around is simple, you just drag him around and an angled line will appear, showing you where he'd end up flying if you let go. You go on doing this for 50 levels, but there are a bunch of obstacles added in later levels, such as enemies, and fake poles that inflate until they explode. There's also a bonus if you can make it in a certain time limit, but if you don't, you still pass the level. Gameplay gets: 10/10.
Controls: Considering it's just the mouse, you'd have to try very hard to mess up the controls. But the people did a fine job here. Controls get: 10/10.
FINAL SCORE:
ALL TENS! SLING GETS A 10/10!
Verdict: This is the second game to get a perfect 10 on my blog, after Dr. Mario, and like DM, it's well deserving of it's flawless score. Play it now.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Review #12: Earthworm Jim
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Review #11: Wacky Races
Monday, November 17, 2008
Review #10: Guitar Hero III - Legends of Rock
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Review #9: Spongebob - Legend of the Lost Spatula
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Review #8: Dr. Mario
Friday, November 14, 2008
Review #7: Mega Man II
Graphics: Remember the boring blue background in MM1? Well, it's given way to much more detailed backgrounds, ranging from a factory, to sky, to woods, as seen in the picture on the right. The foreground graphics are only slightly improved from the first, though, but as long as the fg and bg graphics don't clash, it's all good. Graphics get: 9/10
- There are no longer 6 robots, instead, there are 8.
- The score system (which I never mentioned in yesterday's review) is gone.
- Every weapon has more than a couple uses in the game.
And the weapons and bosses are cool this time. FireMan is with the cooler-looking Heat Man, CutMan is replaced with the speedy Quick Man, and BombMan is replaced with the fierce Crash Man. So, all in all, bosses are very much improved.
Oh, and Dr. Wily bosses/stages are pretty cool as well, much better and more forgiving than the ones in the first installment, by the way.
A great new addition is the E-Tank, an item that will completely refill your HP. This comes in handy when you get totally pounded by a level and don't have enough energy to face the boss.
One thing that makes the game really easy, though, are the metal blade weapon. Taken after beating Metal Man (lower left), these are totally a godsend. Seriously, almost every enemy is beatable with these, with only one or two bosses invincible, but those guys are already a pushover as it is. Anyways, the metal blades are so usable that using them constantly can be considered cheating. But not on the higher difficulty level.
Oh, about that. There are now two difficulties you can play the game on: Normal and Difficult. In the Japanese release, "Difficult" was the normal, harder playing level, with stronger bosses and enemies. "Normal" is much easier, and if you're not up for the toughness, this is for you.
Finally, there are 3 special items you can get from beating 3 of the 8 robot master stages. Item 1 lets you create three rising platforms to get up to somewhere, and is collected in Heat Man's stage. Item 2, found after beating Air Man, is a hoverboard that will only go in ONE direction, but helps a lot to cross large gaps. The item is famous with helping in Heat Man's stage, which contains this painful part with a bunch of disappearing and reappearing block platforms, which have this totally random pattern in appearing. You can use item 2 to skip the whole thing and go after the hothead himself. But a lot of people complained that Air Man was too hard to beat, and it grew to be such a big thing that a group in Japan wrote a song about it, translated to "I Can't Beat Airman", which can be heard here.
Overall, gameplay gets a well-deserved: 9/10
Controls: Mega Man will shoot and run without any problems. This category gets a: 10/10.
FINAL SCORE:
9+9+6+9+10= 43. 43/5= 8.6/10
Verdict: Play it whenever you get the chance.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Review #6: Mega Man
- Mega Man has an arm cannon that shoots lasers instead of fireballs.
- The stages are all futuristic themed.
- You can choose which level to go through/boss to fight.
That last one really sets MM apart from the Mario series. You actually start at a select screen and get to choose out of six "robot masters". This non-linear gameplay makes for a pretty fun gaming experience.
Well, kinda fun, anyway. Once again, this game suffers from difficulty. There are some parts of the game that will probably take at least 3 game overs to get through and beat the boss. Not only that, but even though you don't have to go from level to level with no options, the levels themselves are pretty linear. You may get to a point in the level where you think "Hey, didn't I do this already?".
Oh, and if you beat a robot master, you recieve it's special ability for your own use. Some are utterly useless (like a weapon that you can throw rocks with, but it's rarely used), while others come in handy a lot (like the cut blade or hyper bombs). When all six masters fall, you get to enter Dr. Wily's fortress and face the toughest levels you could ever imagine. Brrrrrrrr...
Anyway, another game that may give you controller-breaking syndrome, but that was 1987 in gaming. Gameplay gets: 7/10.
Controls: Not too shabby, except in IceMan's stage where you have terrible traction. This stage could frustrate the (insert usable word here) out of you. Controls get: 6/10.
FINAL SCORE:
7+5+10+7+6=35. 35/5= 7/10
Verdict: It's good, but I'll take the sequel, Mega Man II, over this one.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Review #5: Kid Klown in Night Mayor Land
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Review #4: Battletoads
Seriously, this is an extremely hard game. I almost can't even describe how tough it is. Well, I guess the proper word would be UNFAIR.
Anyway, the whole concept sorta follows the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", except they're toads. Huge, strong, muscular toads.
I can't think of anything else to say for this introduction, so let's get into categorization...
Graphics: For the NES, these are some of the best graphics I've seen. The levels have a 3-D look to them, which is something big for the 8-bit era of gaming. Overall, graphics get a: 9/10.
Sound: Hard to say, I never listened to the music on this game. Guess I'll skip this category for once...
Story: Let's see... there's these three muscular toads, under the command of some bird-guy, and one is "crusin'" with some female toad. The two of them are kidnapped by the Dark Queen. The other two have to go after them. The names? Well, I don't remember the female's name, but the three toads are named: Zitz, Rash, and Pimple. Lovely, eh? Oh, and it just occured to me that every game so far on this list has had the SAME SAVE-THE-PRINCESS STORYLINE!!! But, once again, this puts a pretty nice twist on the usual Mario story, so I'll give it a: 7/10.
Gameplay: It's a sidescolling beat-em'-up. Since I am such a huge sidescroller fan, this seemed like the coolest game ever. But, like I said in the introduction, this game is so challenging it'll BLOW... YOUR... MIND! See, you get to pick up weapons that are lying around, and hit enemies with them. This would be much better if the enemies had a halfway-decent attack pattern. But instead they often go all random on you and kill you before you can even say "DUUUUDE!". Oh, and the best part? With 12 insanely hard areas (for the record, I've only made it to level 2, and I was lucky that time), you get only TWO continues. When you get a game over, you have the Dark Queen in your face degrading you. This PLUS the fact that you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN is a nightmare. Gameplay, sadly, gets: 4/10
Controls: Very good controls. Never had any sliding or anything like that during the whole 15 minutes I played the game. Controls get: 10/10.
FINAL SCORE:
9+7+4+10=30. 30/4= 7.5/10
But without the average method, I'd give this game a:
4/10
Verdict: Really, if you like games that'll make you break the controller repeatedly, play it. Otherwise, stay away from it, for your sanity's sake.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Review #3: Super Chick Sisters
For those of you who don't, allow me to point out two BIG similarities. First of all, that logo for the game TOTALLY rips off the New Super Mario Bros. logo. And if you didn't already notice the "sisters", they're wearing hats, one red, one green. And that's just the tip of the iceberg right there.
One more thing you'll see on the title screen is the fact that the logo reads "PETA's Super Chick Sisters". You know, PETA, the overprotective animal association that is against all animal abuse? Now that's not such a bad thing, considering some house pets are beaten senseless by their owners, and that needs to stop. But PETA also seems to work their way into criticizing fast food restaurants, like McDonald's, Burger King, etc. Now their target is KFC, the famous fried chicken restaurant chain. Apparently, there's a bunch of urban legends going around saying that they drug up their chickens before boiling them in oil, and other crap like that. They even have a website on it, which you can find here.
But they didn't stop there, no sirree. No, PETA actually went as far as ripping off a universally-popular game to get their message across. The result: Super Chick Sisters.
This has to be one of the most biased games I've ever played. It's loaded with propaganda, features some pretty graphic images (such as a bucket of chicken soaked in blood), and, worst of all, destroys Mario.
See, it's bad enough ripping off a famous character, Nintendo's mascot, but they also include HIM in a separate storyline (see story section). Anyway, now that I've gone through the introduction, let's get into the categorizing:
Graphics: Hmm, the graphics are okay, I guess. All the ORIGINAL characters look fine. But the MARIO characters look pretty dumb, particularly Mario and Luigi. Also, there's blood splattered on the walls, ceiling, and floor in some levels, as well as a giant bucket of blood-soaked chicken outside a KFC building. Not exactly appropriate for a game that looks like it's designed for kids, huh? Graphics get: 6/10 (and they're the only high point of the game).
Sound: Man, I can't believe how bland the music is in this game! It's hard to listen to, really. And with the cutscenes, they have some wimpy music for Mario (nice, PETA, nice). And they rip off a bunch of sound FX from Mario, too. Sound gets: 3/10
Story: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the story. Okay, so the main plot is that Pamela Anderson, a spokeswoman for PETA, is kidnapped when trying to tell everyone that KFC is being cruel to chickens. The Mario Bros. are out to save the day... except they were playing Wii for too long and got "Wii-itis" (so you're gonna keep bashing Nintendo, PETA?). So two chicks named Nugget and Chickette go save her.
All right, WTC?!! "Uh, yeah, we're gonna go save this spokeswoman who was trying to reveal the horrible truth behind KFC and EVIL Colonel Sanders." Sanders, believe it or not, is the main villain who kidnapped Pam.
Okay, so along with that crappy storyline, PETA seemed to think they hadn't made Mario look bad enough yet, so they keep going: Mario is treated by Dr. Mario, then goes out to save Pam. Along the way, he gets beaten up by protesters for stomping on "cute little koopas". Then he asks a robot thing with Colonel Sanders' head on top if he seen Pam, holding up a picture of her. Then the princess walks in, and sees the picture, and slaps him. Yeah, don't bother asking why he's holding the picture, just ASSUME that he's cheating on you and slap the already-beaten plumber.
Oh, and to finish it all off, Mario finds Yoshi, and is relieved. But when he orders him to saddle up, Yoshi turns on him and says that his friends (the protestors that beat the snot out of Mario earlier) told him he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. Okay, so really, two things I can conclude are:
a. Mario "gets it" three times in a row!
b. SOMEBODY KILL THOSE PROTESTERS!
I won't give away the ending, but it's totally lame.
Story gets: 1/10 (Next time, PETA, leave Mario out of this)
Gameplay: It's Mario, what more can I say? Well, there's also a few tweaks. Only one enemy throughout the entire game, and it's those Colonel Sander-Spider Robots. Tofu is used instead of a mushroom to grow, and you collect baby chicks instead of coins. (sigh) Plus the game is pretty short, at only five levels. Gameplay gets: 4/10
Controls: Control is pretty frustrating, but not as bad as it could be. They get: 5/10
Now for the final score:
6+3+1+4+5=19. 19/5=
3.8/10
Verdict: Play this game so you can see how awful it is, and if you have nothing better to do.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Review #2: Bonk's Adventure
This game was released on the lesser-known TurboGrafx-16 console back when SMB3 was new. The game was also ported to the NES later on. I'm reviewing the TG-16 one here.
Okay, so check out the cover for one. It's some caveman with a huge head bashing through a wall. It's not hard to guess that this must be Bonk, whom the game is named after.
All right, I'm starting to get a little slow here, so let's move on to the categorizing section...
Graphics: So you thought Nintendo was always the best vg company, always getting to something first? Well, it looks like NEC, the creators of the TG-16, made it to the 16-bit era first! The graphics are pretty neat for 1990, and I think they still get the job done. Whether it's the inside of a dinosaur (you gotta see this part), or swimming through a frozen lake, the graphics are still good. This category gets a: 9/10
Sound: While not as good as the Mario series, this game has some pretty good tunes. The same music is often repeated a lot, but that's nothing new, is it? Sound gets: 9/10
Story: Not unlike the Mario series, Bonk revolves around saving a princess. This big ugly green dinosaur named King Drool comes and kidnaps her, Princess Za of Moonland, and brainwashed four Moonland residents, sending them down to Earth to keep you from progressing. Well, you gotta give it credit for adding more to the typical "save-the-princess" plot. Story gets: 7/10Gameplay: Well, it's a 2-D platformer, but this one is different from Mario or Sonic. See, in this game, you use your head. No, really, you USE YOUR HEAD. Bonk is aptly named for his attack, which is bonking enemies with his huge, invincible cranium. If this isn't a great concept for a game, I don't know what is.
You'll fight all sorts of baddies, and, as expected, each round (level) ends with a battle against a big dinosaur thing. My favorite of the bosses is one that has boxing gloves on, and fires them at you. Probably the coolest part is going up to the moon for the final fight. Gameplay gets: 8/10
Controls: Great. Well, there's a bit of slowness, as Bonk can't dash (then again, could you run fast with that huge head?). For this, I give controls: 9/10
Now for the FINAL SCORE!!!:
9+9+7+8+9=42. 42/5= 8.4/10.
Verdict: Good game. Try it out sometime.
See you next time!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Review #1: Super Mario Bros. 1
Yay, it's my first review!
Anyway, I figured it would probably make the most sense to review such a game to kick off a long series of reviews. Here goes...
Okay, as you know, Nintendo's NES pretty much revived the concept of home video game consoles, after it crashed back in 1983 ("E.T., the video game", anyone?). Bundled with it, the start of a legendary game series. Yep, hard to believe, but every Mario platformer known to man was connected back to this one.
So, it was pretty huge back in 1985, and started a new genre of gaming. But even for such a hugely-popular game, it seems kinda average to me. Why? Well, I'll sort everything into categories:
Graphics: For the time, awesome. Sure, they don't hold a candle to today's graphics, but let's remember that this followed the Atari 2600 console, and you may remember the graphics on that thing. The platforms and most enemies are actually pretty well detailed. I'll rate the graphics according to the graphics standards of a particular year. For 1985: 9/10... For 2008: 4/10.
Sound: Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past 20-something years, you at least know one track from this game. Especially that main overworld theme. You'll have the music stuck in your head after playing it. In fact, it's so catchy I'll completely drop the whole "good-for-it's-time" attitude here. This is STILL good. Sound gets: 8/10.
Story: Note: This was added after I posted this review. Sorry I forgot it! The tried-and-true storyline of all Mario platformers: save Princess Toadstool from the big lizard-turtle thing. Nothing more to say here. Story gets: 7/10Gameplay: This was pretty much as innovative as it could get back in- well, you know. It featured goombas, koopas, lakitus, hammer brothers, spinies, buzzy beetles, and whatever else. You could stomp on most of the enemies, a few you couldn't. Yep, the good old days. Oh, and let's not forget the boss battle with King Koopa (who would become Bowser later on) on the bridge over lava. You simply had to get past the big lummox, touch the axe, and he was toast.
Gameplay gets a 7/10.
Controls: Just for the record, this is the only thing I actually dislike about this game. The controls in this game are kinda loose sometimes. Controls get: 6/10.
Okay, I think that pretty much sums it up. Okay, time to give my final grade (note that I'm using the 1985 rating for the graphics)...
9+8+7+7+6=33. 33/5= 7.4/10.
Darn controls lowering the rating. Well, that's it for this review. Come back soon for the next one!
I HAVE ANOTHER BLOG!!!
No current events on this one, check out BRJ for that, this is gonna be ALL game reviews. I've really been wanting to put my opinions of various games up for a long, long, long, LONG time, so don't expect too many hold-ups: I've got a lot of games to review here!
Anyway, I'll get to reviewing ASAP. For now, stay tuned!